Thursday, December 2, 2010

Fingers Move

This might be one of those moments where I don't want my fingers to stop moving.

I might just make them type for a number of minutes so that I can see what comes out.

O'Connor style.

I have been doing on and off work on this section 'Art and Language'.

I've made some steps.

But everything is still mostly unclear.

I will hopefully be able to publish this chunk this weekend and bring Part I of the project to a close.

I had a delightful co-worker give me 2 books as gifts today.

Thanks again.

Very nice of you.

I really enjoy moving from book to book.

I think so much about what kind of scholar (if any) I'll end up being.

Will I get into grad school?

Will I be able to make it in that world?

I hope that in 2011 I can amp up my research on programs a little bit more.

But I might not even want to apply at the end of 2011.

It is still unclear to me what I want to do with myself.

What I want to feel with my time.

What kinds of experiences I want to have.

What types of books I want to read.

Gosh.

I guess I've gone out a lot of nights this week.

So maybe that is why I'm tired.

It is still so early and I feel so tired.

I know I said this a few hours ago.

But I'm still tired and distractible.

I feel in a weird position right now with my writing.

I feel afraid of some of the weird things I've been writing.

And I want to write more weird things.

But I feel tired and low on ideas right now.

Well, that isn't true.

I have certain things I want to address.

But I'm waiting for the well to fill back up with some kind of weird material.

I'm waiting for a strange drunken poem to shoot out of me again.

I'm waiting.

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