On Struggin

We all strug through life.

It isn't always easy.

Emotions are wild and volatile.

Circumstances are unpredictable and confusing.

I break my mind over myself.

I strug.

I work.

Family, friends, acquaintances, customers, peripheral faces.

I see them all.

I often remember their names.

Even more often I remember their smiles.

Sometimes I marvel and love it all.

Sometimes it doesn't mean a god damn thing.

'How are you?' the rare customer asks and means.

I appreciate you.

I say 'I'm great'.

I say 'I'm okay'.

And I mean it.

Either way I mean it.

Sometimes I'm okay.

Sometimes I'm great.

Often I feel good about it.

But I just know that life isn't this one particular thing.

Life isn't a state.

It is a process.

It is an ebb and flow, not a beach.

Struggle isn't what it seems to be.

Struggin isn't what it seems to be.

Pain isn't what it seems to be.

Loneliness isn't what it seems to be.

A kind of action is never what it seems to be.