Of Permanence

Lol what are you talking about, bro?

The Autonomy of History and Epistemological Bullying

A friend has an anthropology degree. She aspires to be an anthropologist some day (maybe).

I, Riley Paterson, on the other hand, aspire to be a historian some day (maybe).

Tonight we had a conversation that I've tried to have before.

What is the difference between history and the natural sciences?

Why does history need to establish itself as methodologically distinct?

All of it boils down to a personal question for me.

Why am I so hostile to the natural sciences and, in particular, attempts to apply natural scientific methods to the study of human life?

I have some deep seated conviction that human life needs to be analyzed in its own terms, and cannot be reduced to biological process.

Well then why can't I just declare the autonomy of history and leave it at that? Why does the vindication of human/historical modes of thought have to come along with hostility towards the methods of the natural sciences?

The position of the natural sciences is one of such privilege that I don't think historical methods can be successfully vindicated merely by championing them.

They need to be freed from the clutches of the natural sciences.

The natural sciences, unfortunately, are like an epistemological bully.

How would most people respond to the assertion: 'The natural scientific method is the only reliable way to arrive at truth.' I'm not sure. You tell me.

But I imagine a lot of people might agree, and even if they didn't, could they explain to you how there were other ways of arriving at truth?

This is probably the biggest issue that I'd love to tackle.

This is the issue that I am most passionate about it.

Lying

It was my words
That got the best of me.

I was always my best
When I existed in
A restricted world.

I was strongest when following
My actions and affections.

The Curfew

Last night I finished reading Jesse Ball's The Curfew.

I really liked it.

It really moved me.

It read quickly and was a lot of fun.

During the last 30 pages I was constantly frowning.

:(

It was enormously satisfying.

I wish I had more faith in fiction to do this to me.

Language, Mindfulness, and Homeopathy

I can't get outside my own head. I think too much.

I'm very verbal, and I constantly render everything into narratives. Sometimes highly distorted narratives. I do it so quickly and effortlessly that I lose touch with reality and I find myself living in a narrative rather than being in the moment.

My tendency to narrate threatens my ability to be mindful.

Yet I find myself trying to use language to overcome my addiction to language.

I seem to be turning towards the poison in the hope that it will suddenly become the cure.

Then I remembered how homeopathy supposedly works, or how vaccinations work, perhaps.

Maybe this is a metaphor that can help me conceptualize the way I want to use language.

Maybe I can find a way to use to language to leave language behind.

Seems like a pipe dream.

I gotta try meditating.

The Currency of Reflection

Tonight I experienced another round of an ongoing conversation.

A friend and I sometimes talk about evolution and history.

I typically insiste that human life demands consideration in its own terms.

They think that reflection on human life can benefit from knowledge of the natural world and human evolution

To put it simply, we disagree about how heavily we are to favor culture or evolution.

I want to ask, How does one go about actually reflecting on their life?

Because this is the problem: Self-knowledge and action.

How do we go about using what we know about ourselves to decide what we want to become?

The most practical form of self-knowledge, I believe, is a personal, cultural, historical understanding, and not a scientific or evolutionary understanding.

Science tends to generalize. History tends to particularize.

Reflection is about particularity.

I'm not sure what I'm saying.

But this is a problem.

And I still think the question is one of reflection.

What do we think about when we think clearly about our lives?

What do we think about when we see our own lives clearly?

I think we think particular thoughts about our particular time place and situation.

When I reflect on my life, I never reflect on hunter gatherer tribes or the evolutionary psychology of attraction.

I think of the communities that really exist around me and the beautiful women I actually see.

Yesssssssssss

Jens Lekman yesssssssssssss.

I saw him live tonight and it was fantastic.

Yesssssssss.

Also, my new essay is starting to make total sense in my mind.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssss.

Also, I don't trust this feeling of things making sense.

Yessssssssssssssssss.

I'm trying to remain curious. To avoid things making too much sense. To resist familiarity.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Tonight I had a thought pertaining to my emergent essay.

I thought to myself, 'Artists aren't great because they make great plans. Artists are great because they feel deeply, they understand deeply.'

Yesssssssssss.

The essay has a simple thesis:

Understanding should take precedence over planning.

This follows from another simple thesis:

Plans emerge organically from understanding, but understanding does not emerge organically from planning.

Boom.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

I held the s for so long that I had time to sip my beer.

Yessssssssssss.